Groups: a Straight Christian Perspective
by Kathy on 29. Nov, 2010 in MUST READS, Please Be Nicer, Uncategorized
As a follower of Jesus who takes very seriously the commands to love,
be merciful and "spend" myself on justice, I've struggled for a week
with this post about the designation of the Family Research Council
(FRC) as a Hate Group. I am a swirl of anger and shame and relief. I
have waited over a week to write and post this so that I could check
myself and make sure it's the Jesus-kind of anger motivating me. By
speaking out, I will be going directly against what appears to be
good, sound and sacred. So be it. Deceit and hatred wrapped in a
lovely robe and carrying a Holy Text is a horrible, blasphemous
offense.
In December 2010, the Family Research Council (FRC) was placed on
Southern Poverty Law Center's (SPLC) list of Hate Groups. In amongst
932 designated active hate groups in the United States which include:
neo-Nazis, Ku Klux Klan, White Supremacists, White Nationalists, Black
Separatists, Racist Skinheads, Holocaust Deniers, Neo-Confederates,
Anti-Immigrationists and Anti-Gay groups, there is listed the Family
Research Council.
Eighteen of SPLC's Hate Groups are anti-gay. For absolute clarity,
deeming homosexuality as "unbiblical" will not earn an organization a
spot on the Hate Groups list. But, continuous dissemination of known
falsehoods and the repeated, groundless demonizing of gay, lesbian,
bisexual and transgender (GLBT) people will score a group an uncoveted
position on the list.
I listened to Tony Perkins, President of FRC, on Fox and Friends as he
responded to the dishonor announced last week on being place on the
SPLC's Hate Groups list. I talked to my computer screen and boiled at
his smiling, what-me? attitude. No, Mr. Perkins, FRC is not on the
list because you are a conservative group. Your actions have placed
you there. No, Mr. Perkins, the left is not trying to shut down the
debate or take away your freedom of religion. GLBT people are
fighting for what the mascot-version-God aside you says they
deserve—equality. Religious straight conservatives (and I am one)
will still be able to get married, have children, serve in the
military and attend houses of worship of their choice. No one wants
to strip us of any of those rights; they just want the same rights,
not special rights, not more rights, not gay rights—the same rights.
Mr. Perkins, you drag God into your battle as an accomplice and, to
me, that is even more despicable than your messages. You use God as
your validation, saying you are fighting to protect His
Judeo-Christian values. You and FRC deserve to be called dangerous
and hateful; you and FRC have earned it.
FRC, regrettably, is not the only anti-gay group on the SPLC Hate
List. They are joined, most notably, by: Abiding Truth, run by Scott
Lively (outlined in a post "On Scott Lively and the "Kill the Gays
Bill" (in) Fame" that I wrote after a long personal series of
exchanges with him), American Family Association (AFA), Concerned
Women for America (CWA) and National Organization for Marriage (NOM).
All are dispensers of false accusations, myths and lies about GLBT
people. I have spent over five years as an active advocate/friend of
the GLBT community, especially the gay/trans Christians and, over
twenty five years as a devout follower of Jesus. I have feet in both
the conservative Christian world and the GLBT world. I am in a unique
position to assess the controversy. The lies about gay people really
hurt in a deep spot in me. Lies that substantiate the "right" to
discriminate.
Here are the top ten myths and lies presented by FRC, CWA, AFA and
NOM, (I won't even touch Scott Lively's ramblings here. Read the
blogpost . He is widely agreed to be in the same special grouping with
the Westboro Baptist Church). I follow each lie with a short
commentary and link to where I have written about that topic in the
past.
1. People make a choice to be gay. If you know any/many GLBT people
and you have listened to them, you would not entertain this statement
as true. This is a pivotal statement used by anti-gay groups all
the time. It is simple and it is powerful. Here is why. If being
GLBT is a choice, then it is a conduct. Conduct is not protected by
law. But, a class of people, a status of people, is protected by law.
If these conservative groups can get us to believe that being GLBT is
a choice, then they can hope to withhold civil rights from gay/trans
people. Again, conduct is not protected but classes of people are
protected.
This house of cards and lies are starting to tumble down however. In
the Supreme Court, a ruling was released on June 28, 2010 for
Christian Legal Society(CLS) at University of California, Hastings
School of Law v Martinez. CLS contented that they were discriminating
against a behavior, the homosexuality of a perspective member, when
they denied admission to the group. We are all clear that state money
and property cannot be used to discriminate against a class of people,
but CLS said this was about behavior. In siding with Martinez, the
Supreme Court decision called GLBT people a "class"; this is huge,
huge. The Supreme Court has now designated GLBT people as a class, not
a behavior, not a conduct. A group of people.
Forget all the myths and bigotry some groups will use to discriminate
against GLBT people, the Supreme Court (and every recognized American
medical, counseling and psychiatric group) understands that
homosexuality/transgenderness is not a choice. They are a class or
status of people. With that designation, equality will come.
I find it exceedingly sad that the State is leading the charge for
social justice when God told His people over 2,700 years ago in the
book of Isaiah to "spend" themselves on justice issues. (Isaiah 58:
6-12) The courts are now leading the way to end this inequality. It
should have been Christians churches. We have been here before on the
issues of equality for women and Black Americans. God help us; Your
people betrayed a mandate and used Your name to validate
discrimination.
2. People become homosexual because they were sexually abused as
children or had distant father/over bearing mother or some variation
on bad parenting. GLBT children are no more abused or subject to poor
role models than heterosexual children. Fifteen to twenty five percent
of all girls were sexually abused and seven to fifteen percent of all
boys. There is no scientific evidence to link abuse and orientation.
None. This myth has burdened parents of GLBT children with a guilt and
shame that they somehow caused their children's orientation. Shame
and blame. And, a lie.
3. Sexual orientation can be changed. Reparative therapy has been
rejected by all the established and reputable American medical,
psychological, psychiatric and professional counseling organizations.
The overwhelming majority of people that have "changed" have: chosen
to be celibate, were bisexual and not exclusively homosexual, or opt
to live a "straight" life to adhere to strong religious and social
pressures. ( Read my post about Sexual Orientation . ) Even the leader
of the largest reparative therapy group in the world, Exodus, said
just this week that he still is attracted to men. This is my personal
belief, I would say, that if it were not for his paycheck, status and
books, he would be more truthful. I have two close friends who were
leaders/founders of Exodus and they are transparent in telling the
stories of the lies and lack of integrity in the Exodus- type message.
I have personally interviewed both of them (Michael Bussee and Darlene
Bogle ) and this reparative sex industry is a sham and a money
machine. It does not work. I do not know one, not one person who has
changed sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. Not one.
Have there been cases where some sexual abuse caused a skewed sexual
view that was corrected? Sure. I would place that in the less than 1%
realm. Go to Beyond Ex-Gay and Box Turtle Bulletin for reparative
therapy stories. The leaders of ex-gay ministries will never say you
can change orientation; they appear to say that, but listen. They
even know it is a lie.
4. Efforts to change someone's sexual orientation from homosexual
to heterosexual are not harmful nor unethical. Oh really? Being GLBT
is a status, not a behavior or "lifestyle" (this word drives me
batty!). Constant pressure to change the core of a person is a
violation of humanity and it is an abuse. Telling someone who is
same-sex attracted that they must change who they are to be acceptable
to family, society, God is harmful and unethical.
Ask an alcoholic or drug addict to get clean and you will see benefit.
Ask an adulterer to stop cheating and you see benefit. Go on and on
down the list of "bad behaviors" and encourage folks to eliminate them
and you will see life and good. Then, apply this "you must change your
orientation" attitude and dictate to a GLBT person, and you will see
loneliness, depression, isolation and shame. I am sure people are
well intentioned in wanting others to change and live "the good life"
of heterosexuality. I could not change my orientation, yet, we ask
others to change theirs. For our good. For their destruction.
5. Homosexuals experience a higher level of psychological disorders
than do heterosexuals. Really? Reject anyone repeatedly and from all
directions and from all societal institutions and you set them up for
personal destruction. We have done an excellent job of sending out a
message of less-thanism from every corner of society to the GLBT
community–from churches, government, military and schools. Want to
decrease the shame, depression, addictions, suicidal thoughts and
loneliness imposed on GLBT people? Stop the rejection. Incredibly
simplistic. Be loving, be accepting, be a safe place. Love,
acceptance and security. That is all we each ask for. Try extending
it and watch the "psychological disorders" melt away.
6. Children raised by homosexuals are not as healthy as children
raised by heterosexuals and, they suffer harm. First, all studies
show children do better with two parents, two, not a male and female,
two parents. Want to protect children? Start by not getting divorced
and letting them have two, engaged, in-the-same-house parents. Next,
the majority of the children that I personally know in gay male couple
families are adopted children. Disposed-of children that exit the
foster/state systems into these loving homes. In lesbian couple
families, many of the children are their own children and they should
be with their Mom. Let Mom have a legal partner for the security of
those children. Two parents. No, none, zero studies exist to state
that children raised in same-sex couple families are harmed or suffer
any more than we heterosexual parents all-stars effect them.
The courts asked the plaintiffs for proof of this accusation of
damage to children in same-sex parenting homes in the Prop 8 case in
California. This was the big opportunity to lay it out for all to see
and guess what? No evidence was presented. None. You can lie all you
want on TV and in sound bites, but in court, you must bring proof. No
proof was offered. Want to make the home life of children healthier?
Let them have two parents. Let GLBT couples marry and create
families and security for their children.
I have specifically and intentionally spent time with my GLBT friends
and their children to observe. As a mother of two grown children
(both straight), I am impressed with what I have seen. GLBT people do
not want to destroy family, they want to create it, with their kids
and with the tossed away kids.
7. Homosexuals are more likely to molest children than
heterosexuals. This lie can make a person crazy because it is such an
offensive lie. This repeated nonsense has damaged relationships of
GLBT people within their families and extended families. "Don't let
Aunt Lesbian near the kids and surely not Uncle Gay. They will touch
our kids inappropriately and use them sexually." Molestation of
children is NOT an issue of orientation. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Molestation of children is about being attracted to a child's age, not
gender of the child or the abuser. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
In a 2008 study of medical records in a Denver emergency room in cases
of molestation, 1% had been attributed to GLBT people. The
overwhelming majority of molestation is inflicted by heterosexual
relatives and friends. This lie has to stop. FRC and the others quote
and requote 87% of all cases of pedophilia involve a gay person.
WHERE do they get this stuff? The one report they keep quoting with
assurance has been thrown out as sloppy and false work by any expert
of repute. Yet, the rhetoric they call the truth is robbing GLBT
people of family, and family of their gay relatives. Destruction of
family? Yes. For a lie.
8. Homosexuals are not seriously disadvantaged by discrimination.
GLBT couples are denied 1,138 rights that a married heterosexual
couple enjoys under the law. They are discriminated against in the
military, in families, in churches and in society. That appears to be
pretty serious disadvantage to me. Imagine, 1,138 rights denied a
GLBT couple that wants to commit to love and marriage and cannot.
Count to 1,138 and ask yourself: is this not discrimination?
9. Homosexuals are less likely to enter into a committed
relationship, less likely to be sexually faithful to a partner, even
if they have one, and are less likely to remain committed for a
lifetime, than are heterosexuals. Chicken or egg? Tell people they are
less-than and see what you get. Marriage is an institution in which
couples establish state protected, church ordained, committed
relationships. And it is denied to GLBT people. Take away marriage
from heterosexual couples and imagine the results. Oh, we have that,
heterosexual people living together. They don't seem to have the
success rate of marriage. Serial heterosexual monogamy.
Marriage brings protection, a stronger bond of commitment and the
support of family and a community. GLBT people do not enjoy the
security of legal marriage in all 50 states. They do not grow up
thinking "who will I marry?". Why bother, it is not a reality (yet).
So, even when we do extend the right to marry to GLBT people, there
will be a season of transition. And, in time, there will be the
similar percentages of success/failure in same-sex marriages as in
heterosexual marriages.
10. GLBT people cannot be Christians. I devote an entire blogsite
Canyonwalker Connections to this issue. The best starting place is the
VERSES tab. If you believe this myth, you are ignoring a movement of
God that is exploding around the world. GLBT Christians are growing in
number, in spiritual maturity, in gifting and it is happening fast.
The best way to see proof is to visit an affirming congregation. Go
to www.Welcomingchurches.org, call an affirming pastor in your area
from the list and go see what God is doing in His GLBT children. Of
course they can be Christians.
Lies are evil. Lies breed fear. Myths about people or groups become
the basis for forming ideology about others. We have done it to
Native Americans, immigrants over our own history, the Irish, the
Germans, the Italians, the Jews, the Africans, the Mexicans, the
Muslims, the Russians, the "others". On and on. If we repeat the myth
enough, maybe it will gain muddy traction and stick. This is what FRC
and other Hate Groups do so well. They demonize the gay community. I
think they actually believe they are good and fighting the good fight
and hanging on to all that is sacred and holy. But, they are lying.
That is discrimination. And, while they are doing it, they are causing
destruction, that is hate. Maybe the public backlash of being
designated a Hate Group will shame them to reassess their message.
Now, the final word as a Christian. I think there is something worse
than making the SPLC's Hate Groups List. My first concern would be
"am I pleasing God?". We all, all, have an image of God in us. We are
called to love, respect and serve others. We are called to be shining
lights in which others can see some piece of Jesus. Imagine a
kicked-out-of-church gay man, a shamed-by-her-family lesbian, a
suicidal Mormon teen who knows that honesty means losing family and
church, two men that want desperately to get married and build a
family, a young bisexual girl who cuts herself in the shame and pain
of her sexuality and religious oppression. God loves every one of
these people, the same way He loves me. God, in His Word, and Jesus,
in His life, told me to treat everyone with equality and love. If the
church cannot police our own, perhaps God is using secular
organizations to slap His children upside the head? Would not be the
first time. I will stand with, beside and in front of my GLBT fellow
humans to ensure that they gain equality with me.
Family Research Council, you should be more concerned about where you
are on God's list of naughty or nice, sheep or goats. And Southern
Poverty Law Center, thank you, really . . . thank you.
More:
http://canyonwalkerconnections.com/2010/11/ten-myths-about-the-glbt-community-a-christian-perspective/
--
Together, we can change the world, one mind at a time.
Have a great day,
Tommy
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