Re: Amazing Romney News

There is a large element of truth in this satire. Opinions, anyone?

On Apr 25, 1:20 pm, Tommy News <tommysn...@gmail.com> wrote:
> From Andy Borowitz
>
> Warning: Strong language
>
> NEW 2012 POLL:
> Majority of Republicans Guess They Have to Support Fucking Romney
> Lack of Other Option Cited
>
> NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – In what Romney campaign insiders are
> hailing as a sign that the party faithful are rallying around the
> former Massachusetts governor, a new poll released today shows that a
> majority of Republican voters agree with the statement, "I guess I
> have to support fucking Romney."
>
> When asked why they were now ready to cast their vote for Mr. Romney,
> a majority of those Republicans polled "strongly agreed" with the
> statement, "Why do you think?  No one else is fucking running anymore.
>  Stop asking such stupid fucking questions.  I don't need this shit."
>
> Underscoring the sense that he is now the presumptive nominee, the
> Romney campaign unveiled a new slogan this morning, "You Have No Other
> Options Anymore.  Start Dealing With It, Losers."
>
> After sweeping five primary states Tuesday night, Mr. Romney was
> exultant, telling supporters in Manchester, N.H., "I love American
> democracy.  I'm good friends with the owners of it."
>
> The wins by Mr. Romney forced former House Speaker Newt Gingrich to
> suspend his campaign, telling reporters that he was leaving the race
> "to spend more time with my families."
>
> As for former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum, he offered Mr.
> Romney this endorsement during an appearance on CNN: "Yeah, I guess I
> support him, because, well duh, I have absolutely no other choice.
> Right?  I mean, really, Piers, what kind of moronic question is that?
> I guess this goes to show that you can be a total douchebag and still
> win the nomination if you have the most dough.  I mean come on -- this
> whole situation makes me want to throw up.  My only consolation is
> that on Judgment Day I'm going to Heaven, and we'll have to see what
> happens to Mr. Magic Underpants.  Haha.  Yeah.  Sweet."
>
> More:
> Borowitzreport.com
>
> --
> Together, we can change the world, one mind at a time.
> Have a great day,
> Tommy
>
> --
> Together, we can change the world, one mind at a time.
> Have a great day,
> Tommy

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