Friday, May 25, 2012

Here’s the top secret Democratic National Convention schedule!



New post on Fellowship of the Minds

Here's the top secret Democratic National Convention schedule!

by Dr. Eowyn

The 2012 Democratic National Convention, in which delegates of the Democratic Party from the 50 states will choose rubber-stamp the party's nominees for President and Vice President in the November 6th election, is scheduled to be held during the week of September 3.

Thanks to FOTM's intrepid on-the-ground reporter Lady Wendy, we have a copy of the top-secret Democratic National Convention schedule!

~Eowyn


Charlotte, NC, is going all out for the DNC with this special retractable-roof stadium!

The 2012 Democratic National Convention

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM – Ceremonial "I hate America" led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on dodging sniper fire – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM –Al Sharpton leads Castrati Choir in singing "Great Balls of Fire"
5:00 PM – UFO Abduction Survival – Joe Biden
5:30 PM – Special roundtable on "Adultery and Family Values," with Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, and Jesse Jackson.
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States
6:00 PM – Joe Biden delivers 100,000-word speech featuring 23-minute question session and 2-hour answer session
8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM – Bill Clinton delivers rousing endorsement of Obama Girl who, sadly, is now a Republican.
9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar by Charlie Rangel, with special "how to stay out of jail" bonus tips!
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Bible-Reading Pro-life Gun-Owners and of Veterans - Janet Napolitano
10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag to Afghan Talibans
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium: How to sell oil to China, raise gas prices, and pour millions of taxpayer dollars into green energy sinkholes like Solyndra!
11:15 PM – Rally to free Jon Corzine (of MF Global) and Jamie Dimon (of JP Morgan Chase)
11:30 PM – Almost-midnight snack of $16 muffins!
11:45 AM – Convention delegates consult their Oujia boards.
12:00 PM - Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher, The Beast
12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination as President King
12:02 AM - Bolt of lightning incinerates convention hall

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