Y'allbonics

 

 

 

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the

seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington

designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught

in all Southern schools.

 

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:

 

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

 

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire

yew?"

 

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage "My

brother bard my pickup truck."

 

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage

"My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

 

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.

Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in

improvements."

 

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard

my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

 

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

 

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.

Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

 

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them

bammer boys sure are ignert!"

 

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left

my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a

few munts ago."

 

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my

brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

 

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't

change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

 

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine

from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

 

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't

rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

 

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

 

FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle or

combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

 

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are

willin' to fat for are rats."

 

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

 

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he

sed ... must be from some farn country."

 

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

 

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't

breathe...give 'im some ARE!"

 

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from

that bob war fence."

 

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my

brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

 

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He

ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

 

SEED - (verb) -- past tense of "to see".

 

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New

York City ... view?"

 

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys

shore is ignert."

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