On Apr 7, 6:24 pm, Keith In Köln <keithinta...@gmail.com> wrote:
> <Grin>!
>
> Call me slow, but I don't recall either one of these and they are clasics!!
> Thanks for sharing these PlainOl! (I suck at telling jokes, but I will try
> and remember these!)!!
>
> Good to see ya by the way!
>
> On Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 10:58 PM, plainolamerican
> <plainolameri...@gmail.com>wrote:
>
>
>
> > For three years, the young Democrat took his vacations at a country
> > inn. He had an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward
> > to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the
> > inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her
> > lap!
> > "Why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried.
> > "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the
> > child would have my name!"
> > "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat
> > up all night talkin' and talkin' and we finally decided it would be
> > better to have a bastard in the family than an Democrat."
>
> > On Apr 7, 3:52 pm, Travis <baconl...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > Plaino: I originally heard this as an Eichmann joke.
>
> > > On Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 3:36 PM, plainolamerican
> > > <plainolameri...@gmail.com>wrote:
>
> > > > The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called
> > > > his lawyer.
> > > > "I want to become a Democrat. Get me a change of registration form."
> > > > "You can do it", the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why
> > > > do you want to become a Democrat?"
> > > > "That's my business! Get me the form!" Four days later, the old man
> > > > got his registration changed. His lawyer was at his bedside making
> > > > sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits
> > > > of coughing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still
> > > > curious, the lawyer leaned over and said,
> > > > "Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to become a
> > > > Democrat so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed
> > > > his last, the old man said:
> > > > "One less Democrat."
>
> > > > On Apr 7, 1:49 pm, Travis <baconl...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > > > The Looking Spoon Blog <http://www.thelookingspoon.com/blog.html>
> > > > > <
> >http://fusion.google.com/add?source=atgs&feedurl=http://feeds.feedbur..
> > > > .>
> > > > > ------------------------------
>
> > > > > Practical Jokes for
> > > > > Liberals<
> > > >http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/-QwpGW4KhPs/22..
> > .>
>
> > > > > Posted: 01 Apr 2011 01:44 PM PDT
>
> > > > > April Fools Day seems like a good day for this list...they're not all
> > > > > "practical" jokes, some of these are just ways to mess with them.
> > > > > ----------
>
> > > > > Every April 1st send a birthday card to the Democratic Party.
>
> > > > > Tell some really hunky member of PETA that he's a beefcake (you might
> > > > have
> > > > > better luck hunting unicorn).
>
> > > > > Accuse a liberal of plagiarizing Biden every time they burp.
>
> > > > > Go the the Sierra Club office/treehouse and hang a sign outside the
> > > > bathroom
> > > > > reminding the tree huggers of the Golden Rule, therefore toilet paper
> > is
> > > > > hereby banned from use.
>
> > > > > Attend a speech given by Rahm Emanuel, make that beeping censor noise
> > > > every
> > > > > time he talks, except when he drops an F-bomb.
>
> > > > > Convince people to register Democrat by promising membership involves
> > > > lots
> > > > > of conveniently unspecific screwing.
>
> > > > > Send PETA a cease and desist order from People for the Ethical
> > Treatment
> > > > of
> > > > > Real Ocean Life (PETROL) informing them the pens their offices use
> > use
> > > > ink
> > > > > extracted from squid.
>
> > > > > Get the Koch brothers to sponsor a mailing of autographed pictures of
> > > > Scott
> > > > > Walker to all Democrats, yes, all of them.
>
> > > > > Petition the U.N. to make April 1st Global Warming Day.
>
> > > > > Get 10 friends together to watch MSNBC at the same time to create a
> > > > > mysterious ratings spike.
>
> > > > > Barge into a Planned Parenthood with a crying baby in your arms and
> > > > demand
> > > > > your money back.
>
> > > > > Go to any Democratic headquarters and announce that you are a
> > registered
> > > > > Republican and your tired of the way President Obama has been treated
> > and
> > > > > you're ready to show your support for him by re-registering to
> > Kenyan.
>
> > > > > Potentially start a Pakistani Muslim-esque riot by placing a personal
> > ad
> > > > on
> > > > > Craigslist in San Francisco titled "Looking For Love in all the Wrong
> > > > > Places" under the name G. Bush.
>
> > > > > Distribute "special" brownies at demonstrations to legalize
> > pot...neglect
> > > > to
> > > > > mention they're special because they're made with Ex-lax.
>
> > > > > Go into an uber-hipster coffee shop and throw a fit when they wont
> > give
> > > > you
> > > > > an off menu item, like coffee.
>
> > > > > Ask every long haired hippie man you see for their autograph and that
> > you
> > > > > love them on The View.
>
> > > > > Photoshop years out of Nancy Pelosi's Wikipedia photo to make her
> > look
> > > > 70.
>
> > > > > Brag to your liberal friends that you've decided to be friendlier to
> > the
> > > > > environment by taking your bike everywhere you go, and then prove it
> > by
> > > > > showing them how you keep it in the trunk of your car.
>
> > > > > Do the magic trick where you pull a coin out of a Democrat's ear, but
> > > > > instead of a coin use a mini plastic brain.
>
> > > > > Make them breathe a sigh of relief by telling them Helen Thomas is
> > now
> > > > > registered Republican.
>
> > > > > Get liberals to sign a petition forcing a Jeopardy showdown between
> > the
> > > > > super-computer WATSON and TOTUS.
>
> > > > > Barge into Planned Parenthood with a wire hanger and brag about how
> > they
> > > > > taught you everything you know about choice.
>
> > > > > Program the auto correct feature on their word processor to change
> > words
> > > > > like "revolution" and "fair share" and "progressive," or anything
> > else
> > > > that
> > > > > sounds like liberal whining into "I <3 Reagan."
>
> > > > > Change the nationality of every Democrat bio on Wikipedia to "Hell."
>
> > > > > Make national news by starting a CNN fan club.
>
> > > > > Biden's Idea For Energy
> > > > > Independence<
> > > >http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/thelookingspoon/Gprc/~3/yzakar4PM2A/22..
> > .>
>
> > > > > Posted: 01 Apr 2011 09:30 AM PDT
>
> > > > > Check out my collection of Biden "toons" (including this one) in the
> > top
> > > > > navigation links at "Biden the April
> > > > > Fool<http://www.thelookingspoon.com/biden-the-april-fool.html>
> > > > > ."
>
> > > > > You are subscribed to email updates from
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