Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Gay Suicides: It's Down To Us

Gay Suicides: It's Down To Us

by Nathan James


I've been working on the story of another sad ending to a promising
young gay life this weekend. Joseph Jefferson, a 2002 graduate of
Harvey Milk High School, POCC and GMAD worker, and assistant to LGBT
event promoters Laurence Pinckney and James Saunders, died by suicide
yesterday at the age of 26. Mr. Jefferson, whose Facebook page
includes these words, written by him, could not bear the burden of
living as a gay man of color in a world grown cold and hateful towards
those of us who live and love differently than the so-called "social
mainstream". Mr. Jefferson wrote:

"Belonging is one of the basic human needs, when people feel isolated
and excluded from a sense of communion with others, they suffer. I
have been an advocate for my peers and most importantly youth because
most have never had a deep emotional attachment to anyone. They don't
know how to love and be loved in return. The need to be loved can
sometimes translate to the need to belong to someone or something.
Driven by that need….. Most will do anything to belong."

As an advocate for LGBT youth, Mr. Jefferson surely made a positive
impact onb those he met and counseled. But this same nurturing and
enrichment he offered to others, was absent in his own life to such a
degree, that he felt the only way to deal with the pain of his
existence was to end it. He becomes the latest in a list of young gay
men who have committed suicide in recent weeks, a list that has grown
with shocking rapidity. It is no mystery why this is happening, or
why it will continue to happen. The isolation of living in a world
that condemns us as gays and lesbians, and which refuses to accord us
the most basic respect due any human being, is excruciating. The life
we must live, walking in fear of being attacked should we dare express
ourselves as we are, of ridicule, ostracism, and of vilification, is
degrading. When we are publicly shamed in our places of worship, when
those who seek high public office refer to us in the most base and
venal terms, and when we are denied the right to partake in the full
social contract by marrying or defending our country, it is appalling.
We know why we are hanging ourselves, throwing ourselves off bridges,
or shooting ourselves in the head.

The only question remaining before us today, is whether we will
continue to bewail these increasing suicdes, without making active
measures to prevent them. The resources normally open to straight
people contemplating suicide are not always available or palatable to
gays and lesbians. Our health care system is still a very
hetero-normative one, uneducated on the life pressures faced by us,
and often indifferent to them. Our religious institutions and clergy
are more often a source of the problem for gays and lesbians, rather
than the resource of comfort and guidance they should be. Our
families too often shut us out of their lives, making them an
unapproachable place to go for help in dealing with the pain that so
commonly accompanies daily LGBT life. It is therefore down to us.
What, then, will we do, collectively and individually? That next
young man who is feeling overwhelmed, is already on his way to the top
of that bridge. he's already fashioning that noose. He's already
cleaning his gun. We cannot afford any more delay. We are the help,
the only help possible in some cases, and it's already late.

Source:
http://www.facebook.com/#!/note.php?note_id=113090548754544&id=644203959

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Have a great day,
Tommy

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