 | Please, "Touch My Junk!"Scotty Starnes | November 21, 2010 at 2:43 PM | Tags: airport security, Don't touch my junk, pat downs, Transportation Security Administration, TSA, TSA screeners | Categories: Uncategorized | URL: http://wp.me/pvnFC-3ze |
Snidely Whiplash
I am wondering what in the Hell was going through the "Don't Touch my Junk" guy's mind? Lemme hook my reader's up here.
First, props to the TSA folks. I am sure that most of them are no happier with this situation than the traveling public seems to be. For the record, as a heterosexual type, touching another fellas "junk" is not high on my list of to do's. But that brings me to my point. Why don't they let male TSA guys do the girls, and female TSA types do the guys? What? Don't like that idea? Why?
We spend our early lives trying to determine who's junk we want to touch and who we want to touch ours and suddenly now it's a problem? Did I miss something here? For me personally, lemme see a nice size 12 or 14, kinda robust, matronly woman of 40 or so wanting to pat me down and I am there dude! Can ya see it now?"
"Next!' she announces. I step up. She looks at me. "Sir, haven't you been through this pat down line already?" "Yes" I smile back, my eyes glazed over in hopes of an intrusive violation by her lovely little latex gloved digits. "Sir, you only need to go through the line once. You might miss your flight," she admonishes, concern all over her pretty little face as I stare into her baby blues.
"Flight? What flight?" I reply. "Sir" she replies, a look of concern and puzzle crossing her lovely countenance, "this line is only for passengers prior to boarding." "Hell Baby," I reply,"if you touch me there one more time we will need to 'board' ourselves, if ya get my drift there Toots! Now quit yer chattin' and get to groping. Ya had me at 'next' so no need to keep sweet talkin' me Sugar. Let's go find a place where we can be alone and I can return the pat down."
So, wonder how that exchange would go over? Either I hook up with her or with an inmate in some local Federal detention facility somewhere, what? Either way, I hook up. Sweet. Beats the Hell out of having to buy her a drink first, right?
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