Cheney Receives Heart Transplant; Bush Still on Waiting List for Brain
Halliburton Performs Reconstruction of Former VP
FALLS CHURCH, VA (The Borowitz Report) – Former Vice President Dick
Cheney received a heart transplant today, but former President George
W. Bush remained on a waiting list for a brain, hospital officials
confirmed.
As part of a government contract signed while he was still Vice
President, Halliburton performed the reconstruction work on Mr.
Cheney's circulatory system at a cost to taxpayers of $14.2 billion.
The doctor who performed the surgery called the procedure "extremely
invasive – just the way the Vice President wanted it."
A hospital spokesman said that Mr. Cheney was expected to make a full
recovery, but that he was "somewhat disoriented" coming out of
anesthesia: "When we asked him who the President of the United States
was, he said, 'Is it still me?'"
Former President Bush made an appearance at the former Vice
President's hospital, hanging a "Mission Accomplished" banner in Mr.
Cheney's room hours before the operation was completed.
More:
TheBorowitzReport.com
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Together, we can change the world, one mind at a time.
Have a great day,
Tommy
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Together, we can change the world, one mind at a time.
Have a great day,
Tommy
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