Retailers Launch Line Of Terrorist Clothing
MALL OF AMERICA, Minn. (CAP) - Seeking to bring a dose of American capitalism to 11th century Arab culture, a retail conglomerate - including Spencer Gifts, Fred's Threads and Federated Department Stores - plans to soon unveil the "Hezbollah and Herzbollah" matching designer collection.
The line will feature clothing and accessories for the modern, on-the-go terrorist family.
"Gone are the days when terrorism was all about a bunch of bearded 20-year-old men spending their time plotting to blow up icons of Western Civilization simply to surpress their latent homosexual tendencies," said fashion designer Michael Kors.
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"Killing innocent Jews and Christians has gone mainstream and gosh darnit if we are not going to hop on our dingy and ride along," Kors added with a giggle.
Included in the collection are the charm bracelet that doubles as a remote roadside explosive detonation device, the stylish leather backpack perfectly tailored to propel medium-range missiles and the "Hezbollah and Herzbollah" 100 percent worsted wool suit separates that keep you both stylish and inconspicuous during that well-planned suicide bombing.
The collection should be in stores in time for the Christmas, Hannukah and Ramadan shopping seasons.
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