Friday, August 26, 2011

AWG - The Angry White Guy's Blog

I sit on my koran and fart because it makes it smell better.





AWG - The Angry White Guy's Blog


Fart Free Freedom Fighting

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 05:49 PM PDT

For Marines in Afghanistan: be careful where you fart

So here's the news:  audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.

I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don't seem normal to Americans and it's hard to spend seven months working in someone else's back yard.  Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.

They're not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can't communicate anyway because of the language barrier).

But farting?  That's practically a sport.  Ok, it's not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.

You've got to be f**king kidding me – Marines can't fart because it might offend a bunch of dirty ragheads? I swear I'd eat beans, cabbage and drink cheap beer (I know that don't have beer in Afghanistan but you get the idea) every damn day. We liberated these ungrateful mountain monkey's from tyranny of the Taliban and that are going to be offend if someone has a natural body function of passing gas. Like they don't? Give me a f**king break.

If these medieval madmen don't like the way we live then defend your damn self and live in total oppression. I'm telling you I get so sick of bending to every other culture on the planet while ours is being trampled right here at home… that offends me and it's high time some other assbackwards culture puts up with ours – like it or not.

Frankly, I think the fart ban an unlawful and unenforceable order and it is one I'd go out of my culinary desires and wishes to spite. What is the Marines HQ going to do if you do fart? Someone point out to me which article in the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice) flatulence violates… I'd love to see the Court Marshall on that charge.

And who is the ass sniffer fart free enforcement officer that's charged with finding the perp?

This country is getting dumber and dumber everyday…

Farting is not a crime it's a bonding event…

Click here to view the embedded video.


h/t ItsmeMr Wright for the reminder

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