"Ol' Chocolate Lips"
There is a 3,000-lb. granite monument that has been placed in a shopping center in Barack Obama's hometown of Chicago to commemorate a certain act of his.
You will be forgiven if you cannot immediately recall any noteworthy accomplishments in this man's life. Sometimes we choose to forget the things that most pain us.
You might have forgotten, for instance, that there is an effective unemployment rate in this country of around 14 percent. (Of course, our officially recorded unemployment rate is 8.3 percent, and it has been that way for a record 43 months.) It is a bitter pill, but it is real and it must not be forgotten. Is this the accomplishment of Obama's that the Chicago shopping center chose to memorialize? No. But that is understandable, given Illinois's painful unemployment rate of 8.9 percent.
Perhaps it is a commemoration of the day Obama decided to get tough with Iran, that enough was enough, that there would be no more mister nice guy; the day he gave that fierce warning to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that if he continued his pursuit of nuclear weapons, there would be hell to pay. This would seem a defining act worthy of glorification, but, unfortunately, no such act has yet occurred.
The monument in question stands sadly outside of a Baskin-Robbins and has a gold and black plaque bearing in golden text those immortal words spoken by Barack H. Obama:
"On our first date, I treated her to the finest ice cream Baskin-Robbins had to offer, our dinner table doubling as the curb. I kissed her, and it tasted like chocolate."
Yes, the 1.5-ton monument celebrates Barack and Michelle Obama's first kiss.
Now, for the average married couple, a first kiss is certainly of no small significance and may sometimes even be celebrated by the couple who shared the kiss. But a kiss is not an event (to the extent that it can be called an event) to which any third-party individual of sound mind would make a memorial.
That no grand, tribute-worthy achievement of Obama's exists and that such a publicly insignificant act as a kiss has been paid public tribute is a testament to the personality cult that has surrounded and defined this, our first pop-culture, postmodern president. It would be understandable if Obama ended his term or terms in the White House as having been an overall success (don't hold your breath for Obama to do the necessary act of flipping his policies 180 degrees in order for that to happen), and then, years later, after other monuments had been erected to celebrate that success, someone decided to erect a "fun" monument celebrating Barack and Michelle kissing.
But this kiss, and presumably other fun, cutesy things, are all that Obama's supporters have going for them right now.
In fact, the monument is actually an excellent symbol for Obama: young, cool, novel. And it is an even better symbol for his presidency: trivial, superficial, worthless.
Now, wanting all fairness, Kevin DuJan and Megan Fox at HillBuzz, have proposed another monument, one that perhaps more properly defines our POS:
What did HIS lips taste like, Barry?
VIA Fax and US Mail – August 18th, 2012 General Manager Comfort Inn Hotel 6080 Gurnee Mills – Circle E Gurnee, IL 60031-4524 FAX: 847-855-0943 Dear General Manager,
A recent article in the Chicago Tribune, "Marker Placed At Hyde Park Shopping Center Where Obamas Shared First Kiss" by Dahleen Glanton, has inspired a nationwide grassroots effort to ensure that every location where the current US President Barack Obama kissed various people is dutifully and permanently commemorated with a plaque, statue, obelisk, or other monument of some kind
.
As you're aware, the Comfort Inn Hotel located at 6080 Gurnee Mills – Circle E in Gurnee, Illinois is a place of immense historic importance because it is the location where President Obama first had sexual relations with Larry Sinclair, the namesake proprietor of the Sinclair News Group. At the time of his stay at your hotel several years ago, Mr. Sinclair was a guest of the Comfort Inn visiting the Chicagoland area to attend the graduation of a friend from the Great Lakes Naval Training Center nearby.
Mr. Sinclair was introduced to future-President Obama by way of the limousine driver he hired to drive him around Chicago while he was in town, as Mr. Sinclair knew he'd be going to bars to celebrate his friend's graduation and wanted to avoid any inebriation issues behind the wheel (which, I'm sure you'll agree, is commendable). It's our understanding that Mr. Sinclair asked the driver to introduce him to any local gay Chicago men that the driver might know so that Mr. Sinclair could have some fun in the city with a local. The driver immediately thought of then-state-senator Barack Obama who had acquired a reputation with the driver for partaking in drugs, drinking, and having sexual relations with men similar to Mr. Sinclair
.
No doubt, you're probably very proud of the fact that Mr. Sinclair and President Obama had various sexual relations in your hotel and you will want to commemorate these adventures in similar fashion to what the Dorchester Commons Shopping Center did with "Barack and Michelle's First Kiss" plaque.
Ancient Romans used to steal obelisks from Egypt on various treasure-hunting and conquest trips and install them around Rome to commemorate various things because, with enough imagination, the obelisks appear phallic. One way to not only top the Dorchester Commons' plaque but to also really drive home the fact that the current President of the United States engaged in sexual relations with Mr. Sinclair in a room at the Comfort Inn in Gurnee Illinois is to erect an obelisk (or two) in front of your hotel. We don't think the inscription should be in Egyptian or Latin though because few Illinois residents or tourists would be able to read it in that case. You should instead follow the lead of Mid-America Asset Management (owner of the Dorchester Commons Shopping Center) and write your commemorative and historic marker's inscription in English.
We'd be happy to help you compose it, for a nominal consulting fee, of course. We'd guarantee the inscription would be excellent and would include a quote of some kind from Mr. Sinclair so that future generations would know, in as much detail as possible, what the historic encounter with the future President was like at your Comfort Inn. No doubt you'd be able to sell small, ceramic souvenir likenesses of the monument in your hotel's gift shop which would be lucrative, we'd wager. That idea is yours to keep, free of charge, FYI.
This grassroots campaign, inspired by the plaque installed at the Dorchester Commons Shopping Center, is really picking up steam so we wanted to make sure you were notified of the strong national desire to see that every location where Barack Obama kissed someone (or had gay sexual relations with that person, like with Mr. Sinclair) is historically marked with a monument of some kind (such as the obelisk that would be most appropriate in this case…but, just for accuracy's sake, it can't be altogether that tall).
We'll be speaking to Mr. Sinclair again soon and will write back in the next few days with more detailed information that will no doubt assist with the planning and ultimate installation of this new historic marker at the Comfort Inn in Gurnee, Illinois.
Hopefully, you're as excited about this project as we are and will join us in thanking the Dorchester Commons Shopping Center and the Chicago Tribune for inspiring this grassroots endeavor.
Sincerely,
Kevin DuJan and Megan Fox
The HillBuzz and Mrs. Fox Show
HillBuzz@gmail.com
www.HillBuzz.org
H/T To my Lovely Wendy and the Cute Grouchy !
~Terry
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