el banco

I talked to the bank last week and told them that they could have the house back.
Finally, they were interested in refinancing it, erasing the initial debt and all that....but I told them that I was not interested.
They tried to argue with me.  I told them that at best, we were delaying the inevitable....
Today, they called me back.
I answered the phone...
"This is blah blah bank calling for blah blah"
"This is blah blah"
"We'd like to talk to you about your late payments"
"Oh..they are not late...I am not making them"
"Why not?"
"Well...I am going through a divorce, and I work as a govt contractor, and the govt does not have a budget, so my company is not getting paid...so i am not getting paid...so with no money....no house...it is Obamanomics"
"What is Obamanomics"
"You know...the govt spends a lot of money that they cannot account for that is used to bail out the banks who claim they will pay it back...and use it to buy old cars off the road and put new, more costly cars on the road...."
"Do you seriously believe that?"
"Do you seriously believe the govt?"
"Okay, okay...this is not going anywhere..."
"Neither is the economy..."
"Let's get back to the house, have you thought of alternatives?"
"uhhh....like what"
"Well, borrowing the money"
"From who?"
"The bank?
"What bank?
"A bank that might loan you money"
"uhhhh...for what?
"The house...aren't you concerned about this?"
"Not...really?
"But this will look bad on your credit report"
"To who?"
"Someone that is trying to loan you money"
"Who might do that?"
"A bank"
"Isn't that the problem I have now?"
"So, if you leave the house...where are you going?
"To my other house."
"You have another house?!!"
"Yes?"
"Is it paid for?"
"No"
"We can take it"
"Would you?!!!"
"Yes, by taking it, we could get some of the money back from this house"
"I don't think so..."
"Why not?"
"Because it is upside down worse than this house"
"So there is no equity in it?"
"Not a cent, but you can have it too.."
"Why would we take a house that has no equity it in?"
"I don't know...you started it"
"Did you fill out the package?"
"What package?"
"The one about your finances, you job, your earnings?"
"I did not get a package..."
"Well...we sent it to you?
"When?"
"The last time we talked to you..."
"When was that?"
"The 15th."
"Well....I have not gotten yet..."
"Did you check your mail?"
"No...I usually wait until the mail stacks up into a pile that falls over on the house before I check it..."
"You're not serious?"
"No, not really...."
"But we need the package completed?"
"What is the package concerning?"
"Well, it concerns how much money you are making, your income, your house..."
"But I already told you...I don't have an income and I am not not making any money...and you already know where the house is"
"But you have to complete the package!!"
"Why?"
"Because you have to apply to turn the house back to the bank!!"
"Isn't that how I got into this mess in the first place...by applying?"
"Doesn't this worry you at all?"
"Would me worrying about this get you your money?"
"You obviously do not know how things work in banking"
"Obviously not"
"Sigh...I will get my boss to call you..."
"Please do"
Click

And you wonder why we are in this mess?

 

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