eighties? The script followed the attempts of a scientist to transmit
life forms via a pod type fax machine. Just for giggles, let's
fantasize that this technology became widely available. What actions
and consequences might we expect were this to become reality?
Ø Al Gore would immediately claim credit for the invention.
Ø Homeland Security would mandate that no one could fax themselves
while wearing shoes
Ø The federal government would require the completion of 27 pages of
forms prior to each faxing.
Ø Congress would immediately vote themselves a pay raise.
Ø The DMV would petition the state for additional funding to offset
the loss of revenue due to reduced vehicle purchases.
Ø Al Sharpton would decry that faxing somehow is discriminatory and
demand that 80% of all production jobs be given to folks classified as
minorities.
Ø GM would announce a new technology that will reduce the Watts per
hour usage and their product would be readily available by 2024. They
would call this new pod, The BOLT!
Ø A senator in Montana would add a provision to the defense budget
that would allocate 1.4 billion dollars to build, staff and maintain a
pod-processing center. This would be sufficient to handle the 112
individuals who entered the state during the prior year.
Ø Comcast, Cox and Verizon would all claim proprietary rights to the
transmission process and ask congress to exclude any competition.
Ø Congress would vote themselves another pay raise.
Ø Every city, county and state would implement a new tax on faxing.
Ø The senator from the great state of Washington would decry the lack
of airplane sales and request a federal subsidy so that Boeing could
continue to be profitable while producing absolutely nothing.
Ø Congress would allocate another 27 billion dollars to the postal
service
Ø A new cabinet level department would be established to monitor and
regulate faxing. An initial budget of 2.8 trillion dollars would be
required.
Ø Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, Congress will pass a 2700
page document into law stating that 3 of every 10 receiving pads be
designated as handicap only.
Ø McDonalds will be found guilty in a civil trial after an individual
claimed to have burned themselves with a hot beverage while being
faxed.
Ø Now that vehicle travel is substantially reduced, DOT will begin a
massive effort to fix the highways
Ø Al Gore will produce a documentary showing that fax transmissions
increase the methane output of cattle and will eventually lead to the
melting of the sun
Ø Congress will respond by voting themselves a pay raise
Ø The democrats will claim their party has enabled this new technology
while blaming the past presidency for delaying implementation
Ø The law firm of Count, Damonay and Suesomore will file a class
action lawsuit against Exxon on behalf of all shareholders who lost
money due to insufficient notice of impending bankruptcy.
Ø Congressional Democrats will propose renaming Reagan National
airport the Obama pod-processing center
Ø Barney Frank will deliver a nine-hour speech on the house floor
demanding an 80% tax surcharge on all employees working in pod
production. This will offset ever-increasing unemployment benefits.
Ø Congress will hold six months of closed-door meetings to address the
new immigration procedures. At conclusion of committee, nothing will
be done.
Ø Following a rigorous two and a half hour day, the president will
announce a six-week vacation for his family.
Ø The federal government will announce that private ownership of a pod
is not protected by the constitution and will require a one-month wait
and background check.
Ø Homeland Security will announce a "No FAX' list.
Ø And, of course, congress will vote themselves another pay raise!
--
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