Thursday, February 24, 2011

**JP** Ultimate Definitions.......{A best email}


Wonderfully described definitions ....paradoxical

 

definition of cigarette
CIGARETTE:

A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!

 

 

 


 

definition of marriage
MARRIAGE:

It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

 

 

 



definition of lecture
LECTURE:

An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either

 

 


definition of conference
CONFERENCE:

The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present

 

 

 


definition of compromise
COMPROMISE:

The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece

 

 


definition of TEARS
TEARS:

The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

 

 

 


definition of dictionary
DICTIONARY:

A place where divorce comes
before marriage

 

 


definition of conference room
CONFERENCE ROOM:

A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

 

 


definition of ecstasy
ECSTASY:

A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before

 

 


definition of classic
CLASSIC:

A book
which people praise,
but never read

 

 

 


definition of smile
SMILE:

A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!

 

 

 


definition of office
OFFICE:

A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life

 

 


definition of yawn
YAWN:

The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth

 

 


definition of etc
ETC:

A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do

 

 


definition of committee
COMMITTEE:

Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together

 

 

 


definition of experience
EXPERIENCE:

The name
men give
to their
Mistakes

 

 


definition of atom bomb
ATOM BOMB:

An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions

 

 


definition of philosopher
PHILOSOPHER:

A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead

 


definition of diplomat
DIPLOMAT:

A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip

 

 

 


definition of opportunist
OPPORTUNIST:

A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river

 

 


definition of optimist
OPTIMIST:

A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

 

 


definition of pessimist
PESSIMIST:

A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY

 

 


definition of miser
MISER:

A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!

 

 

 


definition of father
FATHER:

A banker
provided by
nature

 

 


definition of criminal
CRIMINAL:

A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught

 

 


definition of boss
BOSS:

Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early

 

 


definition of politician
POLITICIAN:

One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later

 

 


definition of doctor
DOCTOR:

A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!

 

 

 

 

 

Regards,

 

Talha Ahmed Ali

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




--
 
 

"Dream is not that what you see in your sleep, Dream is the thing which do not allow you to sleep"

Regards,

Talha Ahmed Ali

 

 

 

Talha's Yahoo ID: talhaahmedali@yahoo.com

 

Talha's Hotmail ID: talhaahmedali@hotmail.com

 


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